Once in a Lifetime
Two girls were talking about their plans for their upcoming prom.
"Iím renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and Iíve reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," one girl said.
Their teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didnít spend that much on my wedding."
The girl answered, "I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once."
The wheel of a lady's grocery cart was making a horrible scraping sound as she rolled it through the supermarket. Nevertheless, when she finished her shopping and saw a cartless woman, she offered it up, explaining, "It makes an awful noise, but it works."
"Thatís okay," the woman said, taking it. "I have a husband at home like that."
Following a funeral service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out of the church when they accidentally bump into a wall. From inside the coffin they hear a faint moan. Opening the lid, they find the man inside alive! He leaps out, performs a little jig, and lives another ten years before eventually keeling over.
Once again, a ceremony is conducted, and at the end, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they head toward the doors of the church, the wife of the deceased leaps to her feet and shouts, "Watch the wall!"
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