Funny, interesting or weird quotes from books

[Shade]

Read a book and you wanted to share that funny passage/phrase with someone? Or maybe you read a weird line that's so weird and odd it made you laugh? Or just made you go ?
Anything goes, from weird to interesting, from "oh my god, i can't stop laughing" to "my god, is this author insane?".
Share and bring a smile on our faces cause we so need them these days.


For the moment, I have no ideas, but I'm sure you do, so go on and post
for all
And remember, sharing is caring

After spending a week sick ..

Skip fell asleep with his arm over Richie’s tight stomach and had confused dreams about turkeys beating off and ejaculating gravy.
　　Fuking cold medicine



Amy Lane - Winter Ball

[bucsie]

I saw this on Orange Is The New Black, and loved it:

“. . . the garden did not start as as metaphor. It started out as paradise. Then, as now, the garden is about life and beauty and the impermanence of all living things. The garden is about feeding your children, providing food for the tribe. It’s part of an urgent territorial drive that we can probably trace back to animals storing food. It’s a competitive display mechanism, like having a prize bull, this greed for the best tomatoes and English tea roses; it’s about winning, about providing society with superior things, and about proving that you have taste and good values and you work hard.
And what a wonderful relief every so often to know who the enemy is–because in the garden, the enemy is everything: the aphids, the weather, time. And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth and growth and beauty and danger and triumph–and then everything dies anyway, right? But you just keep doing it. What a great metaphor! I love this so much!”

[Honeybunny]

Tam Ames - Caged (older edition)

Imagine a hamster shifter has been caught and is sitting now in a pet store in a cage together with other hamsters looking at one of the employees...

"Marcin screamed hamster obscenities at her and glared as best he could with his little black eyes while he killed her a thousand ways in his mind" ...

and now imagine your next visit to a pet store... Believe me: u will never look at a cage full hamsters innocently again anymore

 "She’s a bitch, she called me cutie wootie. That’s a crime against hamsters."

23:30, 20th Jul 2016

Tropic

 

17:03, 21st Jul 2016

T.J. Klune - Wolfsong

“My future,” Joe said, “is Ox.”
Ah god, that made me ache.
“Is that so?” Mom asked. “How do you figure?”
“He’s really nice,” Joe said seriously. “And smells good. And he makes me happy. And I want to do nothing more than put my mouth on him.”
“Ah well,” Thomas said. “We tried.”
“He’s our little snowflake,” Elizabeth told him.
“You want to what?” I asked Joe incredulously.
He winced. “I didn’t mean to say it like that.” He was sweating much more heavily now as he looked back at my mother. “I want to court your son.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“It means I want to provide for him to prove my worth,” Joe said. “And then, once he agrees to be mine, I’ll mount him and then bite him and everyone will see that we belong to each other.”
I was wheezing something awful.
“Joe,” Elizabeth called in from the window. “Maybe not talk about that part just yet. Or ever.”
“Right,” Joe said, pulling on his bow tie like it was too tight. “Forget I said that part.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Mom said, looking between me and Joe.
“Mounting?” I managed to say. “Of all the things you could have gone with, you went with mounting?”
“I’m nervous!” Joe cried. “It’s not my fault! That was the only thing I could think of!”
“You have it written down,” I hissed at him.
“I mean,” Mom said, “you just threw it out there like it was nothing.”
I ignored the sounds of choked laughter coming from behind me.


Oh My God this was painful to read

[Tropic]

“Shit, babe,” Sam said huskily. “I gotta admit, hearing about you whacking it in the shower is giving me a chubby.” Sam’s words and the scent of not only his but Bastian’s arousal in the air had me growling so loudly the glass doors behind me rattled. “What was that noise?” Ben asked. “I farted,” Sam lied quickly. “Whoa, good one.” My Benny sounded quite impressed and I shared an incredulous look with Bastian.

I had to laugh so loud at this point , that didn't happen in a long time.

Jayda Marx - Once Bitten https://www.superiorz.club/sec136-mm...44/#post424890


There should be mentioned that Sam is talking to Ben on the phone and Dante and Bastian are together with Sam in the room.